Money is something that most of us handle on a daily basis. Naturally, you’d be keen to think that we all have a pretty rock-solid connection to our money, the way it flows, and how we use it. Unfortunately, way too many people live their entire lives with a detrimental myriad of poisonous attachments and money blocks that hold them back from much more than simply generating a higher income.

Holding on to your lackluster beliefs about money not only limits your potential for cashflow, but it creates the negative patterns that present themselves loud & proud in every single area of your life. 

Your health and wellness. Your family dynamics. Your spirituality. Your career. Your inner peace. Your social life. Your business. Every aspect of your being is impacted by your relationship with money.

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Therefore, I’m going to be real with you… like the I’m-your-bff-and-I’m-here-to-save-you-from-your-crappy-narcissistic-partner-that-all-of-your-friends-can’t-stand kind of REAL…

You’re in a toxic relationship with money and you need to end things…immediately.

Before we recognize the red flags, let’s take a step back and dig into what a toxic relationship often looks like.

A toxic relationship can seem quite fulfilling in moments of instant gratification. However, this is not indicative of a true, unconditional love. This is just a transaction; full of temporary promises and absent of any actual securities or freedoms. These relationships breed unhealthy attachments and create a false sense of love and belonging of which you accept from a place of scarcity.

I don’t know about you, but that has got to be the most tragic “love” story I’ve ever heard of. Unfortunately, too many people accept this version of “love” because they don’t understand what real love is.

Now, reflect on your own ideas about money. 

What do you understand about money?

How do you feel about money?

How do you talk about money? (To yourself, to others, to the universe/Source/God, etc.)

Do you truly love money, or do you love only what money brings into fruition for you?

You may feel slightly resistant to answering some of these questions, or even unsure of how to answer them with honesty. However, a major part of manifesting abundance is being specific, and specificity requires truth and clarity. 

Are you struggling to gain clarity on your money manifestation pain points, where they are, and how to clear them? Fear not, my dearest. I’ll walk you through four of the most common red flags of a toxic relationship with money.

1. YOU OFTEN GET JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE’S WEALTH

When you scroll through your social media feed and see other people driving expensive cars or living in mansion-like homes, is it your initial reaction to think “Why can’t I have that?” or “What makes them so special? They don’t deserve that…”?

Whether you know it or not, your subconscious is so incredibly receptive to your thought patterns. It picks up 100% of what you put down.

If you see money and wealth play out in the lives of others through a lens that is green with envy and crafted by negativity, you’re pushing abundance away from you. Simultaneously, you’re teaching your subconscious to believe the ways of the world that hurt you which leads you further away from your true self. 

Would you want to be in a relationship with somebody who only showed you love when you did something for them? Of course not. 

Here’s the remedy: Start expressing gratitude for all of the beautiful ways abundance shows up for EVERYBODY. Get super excited over the fact that money flows generously + graciously to you, to your friends and family, and to strangers. Someone else’s gain is never your loss, and your gain is never someone else’s loss. Love does NOT judge, therefore, if you truly love money, you must not place judgement on it.

2. YOU HOLD ON TO OLD OR WORN ITEMS

How often do you find yourself using old or expired products? Or, maybe you have a habit of wearing clothes that really aren’t your style anymore or don’t fit you comfortably just to avoid buying new ones?

This kind of behavior stems from your scarcity mindset.

At some point in your life, you attached yourself to the idea that you don’t have enough or that you aren’t worthy of having enough. You have developed your personality, your goals, and your relationships around this way of thinking. You’ve felt anxiety or stress over the learned thought that you don’t have all that you need in order to survive and thrive. 

The truth is… you’ve always been provided for. You have always had enough. You have always BEEN enough. 

When you hold onto the material things that no longer serve you or the life you’re trying to create for yourself, you reinforce your distrust in money, which only steers it further away from you.

Here’s how you eradicate that scarcity mindset: Remove expired foods, toiletries, household cleaners, makeup, etc. from your space. Get rid of all of the clothes in your closet that don’t make you feel like a fucking goddess. Clean out all of those junk drawers. Buy new bedsheets and pillows. Stop feeding into your false beliefs about what “good enough” is. You DESERVE so much more than “good enough”. Once you clear your space of all of the empty, old, and unusable items, you’ll create a renewed capacity for abundance flow!

3. YOU’RE SCARED TO LOOK AT YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS

If you’re scared to look at your bank account, your bank account is 10x more scared of you. 

Fear is a secondary emotion; it is a response to a primary emotion. In order to tackle this fear, you must explore the roots of the fear. 

Are you scared to look at your bank account because you’re ashamed or embarrassed by your spending or the amount of money in it? Are you afraid because you’re angry that you don’t make as much money as you’d like to? Are you fearful because you know that looking at your account will make you sad?

Whatever it is that keeps you from fully embracing the money you’re blessed with, it is brutally damaging your confidence in money.

Similar to love, money can’t multiply in the darkness of fear, shame, anger, or sadness.

Money will fail to expand abundantly for you if you cannot hold money in the light of your mind.

Remember this: The number in your account should always be praised and showered in gratitude, no matter how low or how high it may be. Start looking at your bank account(s) every morning, or open your wallet each day and scream, “Yay! Look at this wonderful blessing of money I have received! Thank you, universe! I love being the wealthy creator of my own life!”.

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4. YOU NEVER TIP OVER 20%

Imagine you’re at a gorgeous brunch with friends (post-pandemic dreaming). Your heart is heavy with wholeness. Your lungs are strained from laughter. The sun hugs your skin in a blanket of warmth. You’re feeling grateful beyond words for this day, these people, the experience… and then the waiter brings you the bill. 

You pull your bill across the table… you inhale deeply as you slowly flip it over… your palms become damp as you attempt to get a grip on your slippery debit card.

You pull out your phone to calculate the tip. You ask yourself, “is 15% the expected tip nowadays? Or, is it 20%? These damn restaurant owners should just pay their staff more so I don’t have to.”.

A lovely day turned so sadly negative… all because you had to spend money.

Although… what if you turned the word “spend” into “give”?

The word “spend” implies that you have a limited supply of something of which you’re losing through transaction.

“I’m spending my time on…”

“I’m spending my energy on…”

“I’m spending my money on…”

However, do you think you would ever say, “I’m spending my love on..”? Probably not. Instead, you would say, “I’m giving my love to…” because love has no limits. 

Guess what else has no limits… 

ABUNDANCE!

The way you feel about giving money to other people or to the organizations and causes you care about shapes your beliefs about it and the way that it moves. Money has never had a limit placed upon it by anyone except for you. This means that you hold all of the power to release those limiting beliefs and open up to the miracles of prosperity.

Here’s how to let go of these pure bullshit limiting beliefs: Challenge your stingy habits. If you’re feeling hesitant to pay your bills- stop everything you’re doing in this moment and write a check to cover this month and the next month of bills. Seek out opportunities to give to charity with your time, resources, or money. Give the waiter a tip that’s double the amount of your bill. Treat every single tip jar like an opportunity to give lovingly charged vibrations to the universe and to others with gratitude. Everything that you give comes back to you multiplied, from here on out, got it?

Claim it. 

Own it. 

It is within your true nature to reconnect with the effortless current of wealth within.

Go big + expect miracles. All ways. Always.

xo, Ashley

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